“All the girls in the family can stay up late and get up early and we’re just fine. All the boys in the family want to sleep all the time,” Persistence explained to me yesterday.
We have not done a very good job staying home this week. We went to the city on Monday to go to Ikea and ended up spending five hours there. Then we had to stop and eat again on the way home so it was ten o’clock before we were home with all the children in bed. Considering the children are usually in bed at 7:30 that was very late. Again we were out late on Wednesday because we have all fallen off the health food bandwagon and I took the kids to a raw foods class in the city to re inspire us. Muscles was very upset with me for keeping him out so late and kept telling me he had to go to bed.
Well, he was right because the next morning, even though he slept in till 8:00, he had a nervous breakdown from being so tired. That’s when Persistence decided that the girls don’t need any sleep and the boys do. (Sailor sleeps all day because he works all night) I then explained to her that actually SHE is the only one in our family that doesn’t need any sleep. Everyone slept in except for her and when the little girls get grumpy I can put them back to bed for naps. In fact the day after we went to Ikea Lovely sneaked back to bed at 10:00 a.m. and slept till 1:30!
Our schedule is this: Children in bed at 7:30, Lovely (4) asleep by 7:35, Muscles (11) asleep by 8:30 or earlier, and Persistence (9) asleep at 9:30 or later. Then in the morning Persistence is up at 6:30, Muscles at 7:00 and Lovely at 7:30. People keep asking me how I get my kids to bed so early, especially in the summer.
- I put them to bed early. In case you’re wondering that’s the most important part.
- We don’t do exciting things in the evening. We eat dinner, clean up the kitchen, make sure the house is tidy, showers/baths, read together and time for bed.
- I know evenings are family time for most people so you might tend to stay up late when kids aren’t in school but we homeschool and Sailor works out of town so that doesn’t apply to us.
My parenting mentor puts her children to bed at 6:30. 7:30 is weird enough but 6:30? She explained it like this… They wanted the children up at 6:30 a.m. so they could all read scriptures together before the Father goes to work. She didn’t want to wake the children up. She wanted them to wake up by themselves so they kept putting them to bed earlier and earlier until they would finally wake up on their own at 6:30. Sounds good to me. I think one of the best things about it is that she can go to activities in the evening without worrying about her children because they are all at home in bed. She doesn’t do that often though. She tries to go to bed at 8:30 herself and is up at 4:30. Weird. And I mean that in the nicest, I want to be like her, way. I think it’s refreshing to meet people who do things differently from standard Americans who eat too much, play too much, watch too much tv, stay up too late, etc. She has been a good example to me.
I have always needed a lot of sleep (nine hours at night with a nap in the afternoon) but now that I’m eating better I do good with seven hours and I can survive on five or six. Getting two extra hours in the day has been a valuable gift. For those of you who don’t already know my new schedule is: in bed by 10:00 and up at 5:00.
What’s your evening schedule? What time do you go to bed and get up? What about your kids? Do you like your schedule or do you want to change it?
Photo
I wanted fabric for an apron and my new favorite quilt shop is in a land far far away so we stopped there on our way to class on Wednesday. It takes me forever to pick out fabric for projects. My brain always thinks it’s the last project I’ll ever make so I have a hard time choosing between lights and brights and pretty and bold. It’s not like I can buy that other cute fabric another time. Whatever I go home with is what I’m stuck with. Forever and ever. And it’s not like I can buy fabric to use “someday” for “whatever” project. If I have trouble following through in other areas of my life that doesn’t apply to sewing projects. I only buy fabric that I will use immediately and if I decide to make something, I start it and I finish it. I can count the number of unfinished projects I have in my sewing room on one finger.
I’ll tell you how I picked this fabric because I know how hard it is. First I started with the fabric for the main body of the apron and came up with the blue flowers because it is pretty enough to look at in large quantities. Then I picked out the yellow circles for a bottom band. Next I chose the contrasting pink geometric and floral for ruffles and ties. I like fabrics to go together nicely in a contrasting way. I think I picked a good variety of colors and prints and the greens and yellows tie everything together. We’ll see if it turns out the way I’m imagining it will.
Explain Yourself
I say I’m going to stop blogging and now I’m blogging more than ever. What’s up? All I can figure out is that now I don’t feel like I have to blog so it’s more fun. You should try it. It’s very liberating.
I have teens so they don’t have a schedule. I will say though that teens naturally gravitate toward staying up late and sleeping in. During the summer I don’t mind. Usually my son has to be up at a decent hour to go to work and my daughter is less likely than he to sleep forever. (I guess Persistence is right about boys versus girls).
I get off schedule during the summer because summer evenings when it stays light forever are my favorite times of all. I tend to go to bed around 10:00 and provided I sleep all night which isn’t always guaranteed at my hormonal age, I almost always wake up by 6:00 if not earlier. It wasn’t always that way. I used to require a full 8 hours and a nap, but something happened along the way and I don’t need that as much now.
7:00 all children in bed. Baby falls asleep instantly. 2 year old falls asleep by 8:00. 4 year old reads until 8:00. 6 year old reads and falls asleep by 8:30. Mommy/Daddy time
6am dad wakes
6:30 mom wakes/ reads/studies
7:00 breakfast. If children wake up before they can watch mom or turn on silent cartoons
7:30 mommy showers while 4 year old unloads dishwasher. 6 year old put away and loads up dirty dishes
by 10:00 all housework is done and all are dressed and ready for the day. Now they can have free time. Violin/piano for mom. Now a cartoon can be watched. Lately the kiddos have been running a lemonade stand
11:30 lunch prep
12:00 eat
12:30 mom/baby/2 year old nap time. 6 and 4 year old watch approved movie or read/color
2:30 or 3:00 wake. snack. play outside, grocery shop
4:30 dinner prep
5:30 or 6:00 eat
6:30 baths/teeth/scripture/prayer
7:00 in bed. Mom and Dad relax and finish up dinner dishes.
Schedule? What’s a schedule?
In the summertime we stay up late with swimming, read alouds, family game nights and sitting by the fire pit. I love it, it’s a magical time of year. In the winter, though, bedtime is 8:30 and we’re up at 7 am.
Our schedule is similar to yours.
5:30 dinner
6 clean up for kids and mom
6:30 baths, pj’s, books, prayers
7:30 2 yo to bed, asleep in minutes
7:30 school year 8 summer 5 and 6 yr old boys to bed (usually asleep in 30 minutes)
6am 6 yr old wakes, 7 am 2 and 5 yr old wake
My husband and I enjoy alone and together time in the evenings, so an early bedtime gives us that time. We do occasionally go swimming until 8, and everyone gets to stay up late as a treat.
I wish you lived in my suburban court, where all children run free into all hours of the night, while I, the Mean Mommy, actually has a set bedtime for my kids. The nerve of me! And yet I get questions like…”how do you not go crazy homeschooling?” “How do you get them to bed so early? Mine are never tired at night…” Said questions come from moms who also hand out endless OtterPops to the kids (again, I Mean Mommy, am the only mom that seems to frown upon OtterPops)
That said, our summer bedtime has moved up to closer to 9 (usually 8 or so in winter)…its just too light outside right now. I look forward to longer evenings and inching that bedtime back up. But, I am the same as you where evenings are DOWN time for all….there is a rhythm…dinner, clean up, activity with dad, bath (every other night) and bed. My oldest is 8 and will read for 30 minutes or so after I tuck her in. My 5 yo is usually right out. They both wake around 7.
Simply, I NEED some quiet time. Especially before bed. I have been to message boards that bash parents like us…setting a schedule and all….I just don’t get it…I mean, if you are the parent that loves being around your children 24/7, don’t need any alone time, more power to you. Wish I could be like that, I’m NOT, and if my kids need a sane Mommy, then everyone has a bedtime. Not sure why people have a problem with that?
When my kids try to argue about such an “early” bedtime in the summer…I simply tell them that mom and dad’s schedule is no different in the summer than the other times of the year, so we go to bed and get up at the same time, despite what all the others in the court are doing (playing basketball outside our window at 10 pm….seriously!!)
I suppose it will all change in the teenage years. Sigh.
I am really into schedules. If I don’t have a plan for my day I go a little crazy. I can tell that my 4 yr. old daughter is the same way. I wrote all about our schedule about a month ago on my blog here: http://nurturemama.blogspot.com/2009/06/summer-schedule.html
I think I just need to work on getting myself to bed earlier. I’ve been staying up way too late–like right now. Okay, off to bed now!
We are having a hard time with bedtime this summer. Even when I put my kids in bed at 9pm, they can hear the neighbor kids playing outside (our houses are close together and we share a driveway with our neighbor). We don’t have A/C to dull the noise – our windows are usually open!
We have always put our kids to bed earlier than the neighborhood, especially during the school year. DH decided this summer, our kids should be able to stay up almost as late as they want since that’s what he did as a kid! I don’t like it at all and I’m glad summer will be over soon.
I want to set a bedtime for the rest of summer and not go along with this craziness next summer. I’d rather be the weird neighbor who puts kids in bed early!
Our bedtime routine starts at 8. I take the two year old up for his bath, get him dressed in PJs, and then all three boys brush teeth together. We say prayers together, and the 2 year old gets to bed (preferably by 8:30 or 8:45).
Then the 4 year old takes his bath, and gets a story from Dad while the 9 year old takes his bath. Then those two (who share a room) get tucked in. Preferably by 9:15.
Then my husband and I have an hour or so to play our favorite online game together, or read/watch TV. It’s our decompression time.
Mornings, the boys usually are all up by 8:30. Breakfast, chores in the morning, during schooltime, school starts at 9:30.
We do school (and Mom chores, if everyone is working independently) until Dad comes home for lunch, usually around noon. Lunch with Dad and recess games until 2, when the little ones have their nap. Then the 9 year old and i do his remaining school, finishing up (ideally) by 3 at the latest.
3-5 is free time, by 4:30 I’m making dinner.
5-6 is dinner. It always, always irks me when neighbor kids try to come over to play then, after they’ve been told that’s our dinner hour. I’m seen as the mean mom. But we don’t sacrifice family time for neighbor play, we just don’t.
6-8 is either work on a family project together time (Mondays), grocery store time (we all go together, split the list and the kids and take two cars, on Wednesday), or play and veg out time. Also dessert time, because we save our dessert for after our dinner has settled.
Then bed.
It’s a relief to hear that your children, who are older than my 11-month-old son, have an early bedtime. We put my son to bed at 7:00 (as in, he is asleep at 7:00) and sometimes people suggest that this is way too early. I disagree (if it was way too early, he wouldn’t fall asleep easily and reliably at that hour every night!)
Even when he is older I hope and plan to have a set bedtime that is early. I treasure my personal time in the evening and I think that many children are chronically overtired. My son has never been a great daytime napper, so he needs to get a good chunk of quality sleep at night.
I have a question for you (or anyone out there who may know what to do). My baby is 8 months old. He is healthy, a good weight, a good eater, but I cannot get him to go to bed/sleep before 10:00 pm! He just won’t wind down for me. And then he’ll wake up at 6:45 am. I know he needs more sleep. How can I get him to sleep earlier and get 11-12 hours at night? What is the daily schedule that will lead to easier bed times and better sleep habits?
Lara says: Jaimie had some good advice for you but one thing I wanted to add is that not all babies need 11-12 hours of sleep at night. My oldest daughter has never required a lot of sleep. She didn’t sleep very much as a baby and she still doesn’t. She was funny. She would cry and cry during the day so I thought she was tired and would put her to bed but then she would just play happily in her crib and never go to sleep. So I would feel bad and get her out again only to have her crying within a few minutes. I finally would just leave her in her crib for hours at a time since that was about the only place where she was happy.
She’s nine now and guess where she spends most of her free time? In her bed reading and sewing. She hasn’t changed a bit!
Laura, this is pretty elementary advice and you’ve probably tried this already, but do you have a firm bedtime routine in place? Starting from when our little guy was a small infant, we did the same steps before bedtime every single night. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate; we give a bath, pajamas, nursing in his bedroom in very dim light, a little cuddle and into bed. Another thing to consider is giving him cues that it is wind-down time in the house (dimming the lights, turning off t.v./music).
I’ve also heard that better naps lead to better nighttime sleep. I follow roughly a 2-3-4 schedule (first nap two hours after waking, second nap 3 hours after end of first nap, bedtime 4 hours after end of second nap). If your son is a catnapper, like mine was, you can try 2-3-3-3 and give him more naps.
Just some ideas to try!
I LOVE a good schedule! I think it keeps us ALL (round here) in a MUCH better mood, especially me! Our nightly routine hasn’t changed just because the kids are out of school though, I don’t roll like that
The kids are in bed (or getting ready for bed) BY 8pm, EVERYDAY, even weekends. My oldest is 12 and gets to stay up reading until she falls asleep, my 10 year old step son is STARTING to do that, & my 6 & 4 year old daughters are usually asleep within 20 minutes.
They wake themselves up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6-6:30am everyday ready to take on the world! It’s a great system and works really well, here. The only issue is that at their DAD’S HOUSE (I’m divorced) he thinks I’m just a big meanie and lets them stay up until 10 sometimes, then complains that they never wake up on time for school the next morning … he doesn’t see the correlation
Thanks Jaimie! I appreciate the advice and we will be trying to get on a better schedule. I especially think the 2-3-4 thing will work. I had never heard that before!
I thought you might be getting tired of my comments since I’ve left a couple dozen tonight but since you asked…
The boys head to bed at 7pm. Ideally that means lights out by 7:30 but I love reading to them and all 3 of us get a pick and I’m always surprised when that takes an hour or more. I suppose I should move most of that reading time to earlier in the day but when oh when?
Basically my boys sleep from 8pm until 8am and have since they were tiny. The baby will go to sleep sometime between 7pm and 11pm depending on how late she napped and sleep as late as 10am.
I go to bed way too late and wake up when the kids drag me from my bed. Bad mommy.
I finally found a way we are totally different – my fabric stash and my unfinished project list both take several shelves each. And I mean big deep shelves.